The Impact of Domestic Violence in Communities of Color 

Domestic violence is a pervasive issue in communities of color, exacerbated by historical and systemic inequalities. African American women experience higher rates of domestic violence compared to their white counterparts¹. The intersection of race and gender often means that survivors of color cannot rely on law enforcement for support. Black men are more than twice as likely to be brutalized or killed by police, and Black women face the risk of being criminalized or incarcerated while attempting to escape abuse ¹. 

For minorities, these toxic behaviors add to other stresses like discrimination and stigma. Latina women face intimate partner violence at a rate of 1 in 3², and Native American women endure some of the highest rates, with more than 4 in 5 experiencing violence in their lifetime ³ Asian women also face significant challenges, with 21-55% reporting intimate partner violence, often compounded by cultural stigmas that discourage speaking out ⁴. 

Mental Health Impacts and Cultural Influences 

The mental health impacts of relationship abuse are profound. Survivors often struggle with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mental health issues. Cultural factors can also influence the experience and reporting of abuse. In many cultures, speaking out about abuse is stigmatized, and survivors may face isolation or rejection from their communities. 

Access to culturally appropriate resources and support services is crucial. Raising awareness, educating, and providing supportive services tailored to the unique needs of these groups can significantly aid in recovery and healing. Addressing relationship abuse’s impact on mental health in minority communities fosters a more inclusive and equitable society. 

Get Help 

If you or someone you know is experiencing an abusive relationship, help is available: 

• Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7) for expert support. 

• Call a Peer Advocate: 1-866-331-9474 to explain your situation and receive support and education. 

• Live Chat: Visit Loveisrespect.org for a live, discreet, and confidential chat service specifically for young adults. 

• Text Message: Get in touch with a peer advocate by texting “LOVEIS” to 22522. You will receive an immediate response from a peer advocate who will help you find solutions to your situation. 

How to Help a Friend Who May Be Feeling Suicidal 

If you know someone who may be feeling suicidal, it’s important to act with care and urgency: 

• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988 to be connected to support for anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis. 

Recognizing and addressing these behaviors is essential for supporting mental health and fostering healthier relationships in all communities. 

 -Carla M Kozen, Content Manager

Sources 

1. “Domestic Violence in Communities of Color” – National Institute of Justice 
2. “Intimate Partner Violence Among Latinas” – National Latin@ Network 
3. “Violence Against Native American Women” – Indian Health Service 
4. “Statistics On Violence Against API Women” –  Asian Pacific Institute on Gender-Based Violence 

The post National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month: Addressing Abuse in Minority Communities appeared first on One Love Foundation.

Three months prior to my high school graduation, I found myself in the municipal courthouse signing a marriage certificate. I carefully crafted our public image to avoid disapproval. To my friends, coworkers, and mentors, we came across as dedicated, albeit young, loving partners. At least that was the story I tried to tell myself. Everyone in my close circle, however, knew that was far from the truth.

The day we met, he stopped me while I was longboarding to work to ask for my name and number. Over the course of the next month, we saw each other every day and texted nearly every minute we were not together. We quickly bonded over our similar chaotic upbringings. I had never met someone who shared such similarities with me, and I found immense comfort in that. Love was professed within weeks, and the feelings were mutual. The media had always depicted true love as passionate and fast-paced and this fit the narrative.

RELATED: 4 Ways Your S.O. May Be Deflecting Responsibility 

My friends and family showed concern for how quickly things were moving, but I was convinced that once they met him and knew him, they would love him just as much as I did. Unfortunately, meeting my partner only made them worry more. 

“He’s just not right for you.”

“Your goals don’t align.”

“I worry that you’re being a bit impulsive.”

Only in time would I discover that their concerns were spot-on. Since he knew their feelings, he became very possessive of my time. Arguments ensued when I would spend time with other people. Accusations of betrayal and a lack of loyalty were rampant. This is when I began to use social media as a tool to lessen some of the damage within my relationship and the damage the relationship itself had caused to my loved ones. 

Everyone is overlooking the good in him, I thought to myself. Maybe I should show them it?

I began posting about him rather frequently. The flowers he picked for me, photos of our matching shirts, and statuses containing the sweet things he said, all of it made their way onto my Facebook page. I thought that if I improved his image, everything would get better. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

RELATED: How to speak with your partner about digital boundaries

Over time, most friends took a step back from me. They found it difficult to connect when they felt he was always monitoring things. As I became more isolated, I also became more depressed. The relationship became more volatile by the day. Incessant guilting, belittling, and manipulation became the norm.

Feeling alone, I once again turned to social media to seek connection. My partner also utilized social media to connect with me. After a particularly troublesome fight, he would post long, sweet declarations of love to smooth things over. I later learned this is called “love bombing,” but at the time, it worked to temporarily patch things up.

RELATED: How to Know When It’s Time to Breakup

Eventually, something had to give. We decided that the best way to become closer to one another was to get married. To him, I was now trapped. In all honesty, I felt that way too. Before long things began to escalate. Fights turned physical. 

Since I did not know what to do, I took to social media to highlight the good parts. I wanted to assure my loved ones that everything was okay. I also tried to justify my decision to get married to him—more to myself than anyone. My justification to myself was that I was practicing gratitude, but truthfully, I was overlooking a lot of unhealthy behaviors. 

One day, a good friend managed to get me out of the house for a hike. It was just her and I.

“I am worried about you. You will never have more space than this, only less,” she said with tears in her eyes.

I did not receive this well at the moment, but it was these words that resounded in my head over and over until I finally decided to walk away. I informed people of our separation on a vague Facebook post, and that was the last my timeline ever saw of him.

RELATED: 6 Ways to Maintain Your Mental Health During a Break-Up

People often think that when someone in an unhealthy relationship chooses to post only the good parts of it that their intent is dishonesty. While it is dishonest, the intentions are far more complex. For some people, it could be to appease a possessive partner. For others, it comes from a desire to fit in with the hundreds of other happy couples on their timeline.

To me, it was about doing everything in my power to show how right I was, to others and myself, about my choice to marry him. In the end, it became evident social media was both a band-aid and a distraction for me.

I am here to say if any of this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing an unhealthy or abusive relationship. If you believe you could be in an abusive relationship, go to One Love’s real-time resources, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

Written by One Love staff member Francina Costa

The post How I hid my unhealthy relationship with happy couple posts appeared first on One Love Foundation.

 Written by Writer’s Corps member Amanda Phillips

It is a Tuesday afternoon, and you are a ball of nerves as you walk down the plaza toward your favorite coffee shop. It’s the same place you’ve camped out in, tucked away in the corner on so many other afternoons — but today, you’re going there for a date. And not just a date — it’s the first date since you got out of a toxic relationship.

“You know who you are now. You have done so much work, Amanda. You know now not to bend and bend and bend for another person. You know how to not lose yourself,” your mother reminded you, on the phone earlier.

But dating again is still really hard, and you still feel uneasy about what will happen once you get to the coffee shop  — and you can’t help but see a stream of “what if’s” run through your mind.

What if this person turns out to be toxic too, but you still can’t recognize the unhealthy behavior?
What if it’s too hard to be vulnerable?
What if you can’t trust yourself after all?
Did your unhealthy relationship damage you with all the gaslighting?
What if you can’t do this?

You can’t help but be afraid that you haven’t grown as much as you thought, and that you aren’t actually capable of being in a healthy relationship.

But then, you think back on the work you’ve done and you’re reassured. You think about the people you have in your corner. You think about the things you know now that you didn’t before.

You open the door to the coffee shop. And you see the new person, and he has a kind face, so you breathe a little easier. You both order different lattes and he chats with the barista, and when you sit down, he asks what your Love Language is, about your dreams, and how you feel loved and valued in a relationship. You tell him that you don’t quite know how to answer that, which is an honest answer, as you have never been in a healthy one. You give him the Spark Notes, and you talk for another hour before he has to go back to the office.

RELATED: 10 Perfect Questions to Ask On The First Date To Really Get To Know Someone

Your phone has been in your bag the whole time, with group texts from friends wanting to know the details and gush with you later about the two-hour coffee date that felt like ten minutes and ended with a plan for dinner that weekend.

But in all the gushing, you start to worry. You worry if you said too much. You worry that you shouldn’t have told him that you have a mental illness, that you struggle with anxiety, or depression, or both depending on the day. You especially worry that you mentioned your previous unhealthy relationship, with a man who was abusive. You worry that he’ll discount you as damaged goods after hearing that, and will slowly stop responding to your text messages. Something that has helped you heal is authenticity — owning your story — but you worry that you should have, well, held all of that back. You worry that you were too much, which is something you heard a lot while you were in your unhealthy relationship.

As you walk up to the restaurant for your second date, you remind yourself that the unhealthy relationship you walked through was a teacher instead of a setback because you took the time you needed to heal. You decided not to let it hold you back, so you took notes on the hardest parts and worked through them. You said yes to a third date remembering that you have what it takes to date again because you have good instincts and you can trust yourself because you know what a healthy relationship looks like now.

RELATED: A Letter to Myself After Walking Away From My Abusive Relationship

You know now that you deserve to be in healthy spaces.

You know now that you don’t have to apologize for asking for the things that keep you well, and balanced.

You know now that the fact that you’ve been through an unhealthy relationship is n’t baggage – it’s just context that someone who wants to love you well will need in order to do just that.

Even if you do not stumble upon them anytime soon, and even if the man in the coffee shop does become distant for whatever reason and this was just an exercise in bravery – you have what it takes to decide if something is healthy or unhealthy. You have better tools. You have learned to use your voice. You have group texts full of friends cheering you on, and welcoming your questions in case you’re unsure of something. Mostly, they reinforce your bravery. So does your therapist.

Things don’t stick with the man in the coffee shop, because you figure out that time with him is not a healthy space. He was nice to you, but the initial excitement fades when you realize that on your fourth date, he forgot to ask about your life for the entire two hours. You take brave steps and voice your needs — for things like letting you know when it’ll be a busy week at work and he may not be great at responding to texts or asking about your day.

You know now that a healthy partner will show care and compassion by valuing your opinions, but the man from the coffee shop never really even asks what you think or how you feel about anything —  which makes you feel anxious, like you aren’t interesting, and that you’re only his guest at the dinner table to hear about what he likes, what he thinks, and what he needs.

RELATED: 4 Signs Your Relationship is Based on Inequality

You know now that a healthy partner will make you feel respected, but you feel more like you keep showing up to show-and-tell instead of dates. You don’t even feel heard, much less respected. None of this necessarily means anything is headed toward becoming abusive — something you fear — but this certainly doesn’t feel like a good fit for what you need after being with an unhealthy partner and that’s ok.

Your inner voice chimes in, and your gut tells you something is off. It is tempting to continue to only talk about the pretty parts to your friends — how he always opened the door for you — but you tell them the whole story instead. He may have asked you how you felt loved and validated in a relationship on that first day in the coffee shop, but you begin to wonder if he even listened to your answer.

RELATED: What I Wish I Had Known About Gaslighting Before It Happened To Me

You know now that part of what kept you in an unhealthy relationship for so long is that you were isolated. You didn’t tell people the truth about how bad things were because when you did, they told you that you should leave, that he was bad, that it was all wrong. They tried to drag you to safer places; they tried to get you to skip steps. Of course, you knew things were bad – but you weren’t in a place where you could walk away for good yet, so you couldn’t hear them. But you took some time after that unhealthy relationship to heal – and now you know not only how to use your voice, but how to trust it.

You know now that you are not damaged goods, and the unhealthy relationship that hurt you so much is also the reason you have grown and learned so much.

You know now that you are on a journey, just like the man in the coffee shop. You hope he finds peace in his journey, are assured that you will find it in yours because you know now that it’s more important to trust your gut than to bend yourself into something that isn’t right.

You feel proud of yourself. You feel stronger now. You feel less anxious, and you thank yourself for validating your own feelings — for owning your story. For trusting your gut. For claiming your right to healthy relationships.

Join Team One Love and support our growing movement towards building healthier and happier relationships.

The post What It Was Like to Start Dating Again After My Unhealthy Relationship appeared first on One Love Foundation.

Thanks to #selfcareSunday and other trends that urge people to #treatyoself, people are realizing now more than ever that self-care and being good to yourself is not a luxury but a necessity.

So what is self-care really about? Self-care allows us to respond to stress while addressing our emotional and physical needs. In a world that moves at such a fast pace, tuning into our needs is an important part of leading a balanced life. I learned this the hard way after I ended my first serious relationship.

I started dating him in high school. Instead of growing up, we grew into each other. Over time I became unhealthily dependent on his care and attention instead of focusing on my own needs. While I consider myself outgoing, independent, and friendly, there were insecurities I couldn’t shake and gave to my partner to deal with instead. This reliance did not help us become closer, it only drew us apart. Recently, I wrote a letter to myself about the breakup. I wrote about being alone. I imagined a vacuum inside my chest that was left when I removed my partner’s space in my heart.

The breakup was difficult and it still is in many ways, but I am recognizing what an incredible opportunity I have to relearn how to take better care of myself. This discovery has helped me realize that happiness lives within me, and it cannot be supplied by someone else.

Self-Care is an Ongoing Journey

There is no scientific method for self-care. In fact, not depending on someone else for my happiness has been a long and rocky journey. After the break-up, my self-care took the form of making loving decisions for myself that I knew could bring me sustainable joy. Little things like getting a fresh haircut, trying out new teas, and journaling have helped me recharge and reconnect with myself once again. Over time, I’ve learned that self-care doesn’t have to be intimating or elaborate for that matter. Self-care is about finding creative and uplifting ways to connect with yourself.

Because we all have the power to control our happiness, and we can all learn to take better care of ourselves, I’ve listed a few self-care practices that will leave you recharged:

1. Take a Shower or Bath

Give yourself some much needed TLC (tender, love, and care) at home with a refreshing shower or luxurious bath. Add to the ambiance of your bathroom with soothing scents like lavender and eucalyptus, relaxing music and soft lighting. A fresh pair of clothes does wonders, too. 

2. Enjoy the Simple Things

When it comes to self-care we often forget the basics like staying hydrated and having a balanced diet. Want to spruce up your water? Add fruit or make a delicious tea. A yummy cup of tea can be a satisfying treat when it’s made with the intention to show yourself care. And healthy snacks that require minimal preparation, such as strawberries and cucumbers will help to boost your self-esteem and reduce inflammation of acne prone skin.

3. Call a Friend

When we think of self-care we usually imagine a spa-like scene with fresh fruit, a sauna and plenty of tools to help us pamper ourselves. Rarely do we consider the value of a good conversation with friends. The next time you’re feeling down, call up a friend to help you get excited or pumped for the day.

4. Give Yourself Time

One of the many self-care strategies I’ve learned since my breakup is to give myself space to process my emotions. Know that it’s okay not to be “fine.” And when things are particularly challenging, having a good cry may be the most effective stress reliever. Also, doing something creative like painting, journaling or dancing can help you move past uncomfortable emotions. 

5. Go Outside

Nature has a beautiful way of making the world seem intimate yet expansive. Go to a park, sit and listen to the world around you. Stressed about class or work? Take your assignments with you to a natural setting and get what you need to do done while enjoying the scenery. 

6. Start a Conversations (With Yourself)

Yes, talk to yourself. Look at yourself in a mirror and reflect on what needs to change and what is going great or deserves praise. As you talk things out remember to be honest but kind. Give yourself support and encouragement just like you would a friend.

7. Know That You Are Loved

Realize that there is only one you in the world and just like everyone else you deserve to feel loved and important. Self-care will look different for everyone but any steps you take to connect with your mind, body, and soul will benefit you in the long run. 

Self-Care is the Gift You Give Yourself

Self-care was a foreign concept to me until I started to feel the weight of stress and fatigue as a result of my breakup. Since then I’ve learned that self-care is really a gift you give yourself and it can be as simple as getting up to brush your teeth or as grand as writing yourself a love letter. Once I started looking at myself and realizing that I can be there for me too, I felt empowered and I know you can as well. Little steps taken each day can create a huge difference in your relationship with yourself. 

 Written by Writer’s Corps member Katie Christy 

The post 7 Simple Ways To Be Good to Yourself appeared first on One Love Foundation.

 Written by Writer’s Corps member Amanda Phillips 

When I started dating my abuser, I had a Master’s degree in counseling under my belt; it’s true. During our time together, I was in school for another one and even I had never heard gaslighting discussed in-depth. For a season, gaslighting was a part of my daily life, and I didn’t even know that it was a thing. And if anyone perhaps should have known about gaslighting, it was me — the therapist-in-training who lived in the throes of it.

These are not faults of my education or myself for that matter but a lack of awareness about this issue among the general public. When I tried to learn more about it, I found plenty of theoretical explanation, but not many accounts from people who’d actually been through it.

Gaslighting is an emotional abuse tactic designed to get you to question the integrity of your reality. And the goal of the person doing it is to control you mentally and emotionally by overriding your perceptions of events.

With gaslighting, your grievances are never validated. You’ll approach your partner with something that unsettles you and that conversation will shift immediately to why it wasn’t their fault, or why something should not have unsettled you in the first place. They will block, distract, undermine, divert and blame you for their behavior – anything at all to keep them off the hook from admitting one ounce of fault.

Let me give you an example or two.

One night, my boyfriend and I were asleep in bed when he woke me up asking if he could borrow my car to help out his friend. I said yes, and woke up again when he came back home after helping said friend.

While choosing a Netflix show through his phone the next day, I learned that the friend in need was actually another woman – he had cheated on me with the night before.

“Look, I just feel so suffocated by you lately,” was the first thing that came out of his mouth when his eyes made it to the text message I had seen by accident. We went back and forth some more, and do you know how that conversation ended?

With me apologizing: “I’m so sorry that I made you feel so unhappy here that you needed that as an outlet. You didn’t do it to hurt me; it’s okay.”

And there are probably hundreds of other things he did over time, to either hurt me or keep me within the confines of our relationship, that were not okay, but I allowed because gaslighting is that powerful.

Another time, he left our group of friends (myself included) at a party because he needed to get some air. We found out from his Snapchat that he had gone over to a party at another girl’s house, and after he didn’t pick up our calls for several hours, he got a speeding ticket on the way to pick us up – after the party had ended – but demanded quiet in the car because the speeding ticket stressed him out so much and we “didn’t tell him what time to be back.”

I never confronted him about the party he’d left us for because I was too busy trying to keep him calm from the badgering of others’ questions. A guy friend started to hug me when we got out of the car to say good night. He wanted to see if I was alright. I immediately backed up and responded with, “Please don’t – it’ll make my boyfriend mad.”

A text message from that same guy friend:
“Why are you afraid of him?
Tell me right now why you’re afraid of him.”

And I never did answer that question, because I knew my partner’s anger was even worse when other people became involved.

Over time, my partner had conditioned me to believe that every angry outburst, every tense moment, every little thing that upset him was something that I alone was the root of.

When you experience gaslighting, you live in an environment of fear. I began to believe that I was an ordeal, and constantly analyzed myself and the situations around me to keep him calm, unprovoked, and from getting angry.

Once, in my living room, he asked me to get up and make him a drink in the middle of a movie we were watching with friends. One of our friends told him to make it himself and he said, “Why? She’ll do anything I say.” I overheard that same friend, as I was getting ready for bed later, confront him: “you’re emotionally abusive.” I shrugged it off when she repeated the story to my face; he had trained me to trust him more than friends I had known for years.

What I wish I’d known about gaslighting is, for starters, that none of these behaviors are normal and shouldn’t be justified in a relationship.

Gaslighting didn’t just affect my relationship with my partner — it affected every relationship. For over a year, I questioned if my feelings were valid or allowed. I second-guessed my recollection of past events and conversations, always apologizing even when I wasn’t wrong, and constantly finding excuses for my partner’s behavior. And when the excuses weren’t enough I shut my loved ones out.

I wish I’d known, the night I met my partner, that even though I felt lost and adrift, a human being wasn’t going to heal me, or do the work I needed to do for me. I wish I’d known that my feelings are always valid, because they’re what I’m feeling, and if I tell someone that I’m sad or elated or miserable, they don’t get to tell me that I’m not, or that I’m crazy, or to just be quiet.

I wish I’d known that me raising a concern should have led to a productive conversation where my perspective was respected, instead of a screaming match revolving around all the problems I caused that had nothing to do with the initial concern.

Gaslighting is a fog of sorts. It disarms and casts a smoke and mirrors effect. You can explain how to navigate it in theory, but when you have a thousand people shouting instructions at you who have never been on that particular path, you start to believe in the illusion even more. I’ve learned that guilt isn’t as productive here. It will keep you where you are, deep in all the second-guessing.

I am here to say: being gaslighted is never your fault. I have degrees on the wall that should have protected me from it, and it still happened to me. I didn’t recognize the signs. If any of these vignettes make you feel understood, you’re probably breathing in some smoke right now. The best thing to do is to admit it and get some oxygen. That may be your family, a therapist, a mentor — but wherever the oxygen is, get to it. Clear your lungs. I know you may feel shame and guilt about discussing your experience, but there is something better than smoke inhalation out there, and it is actual love.

If you or someone you know is experiencing this form of emotional manipulation, please check out our real-time resources to find help from a trained professional. 

The post What I Wish I Had Known About Gaslighting Before It Happened To Me appeared first on One Love Foundation.

The post 10 People Share What a Healthy Relationship Means to Them appeared first on One Love Foundation.

The post 5 Signs My College Relationship Was Abusive That I Didn’t Recognize appeared first on One Love Foundation.

A letter to myself on the first morning after walking away from my abusive relationship.

[This is a letter written to the woman I was 9 months ago. These are the things she needed to hear, and that I can now put a voice to after months of therapy and healing space. This is everything I wish someone had said to me on the morning after I left my abusive relationship.]

Dear Amanda,

First of all, take a deep breath. There are a lot of things that you need to do right now, and the first one is to just breathe. Second of all, take your time. Get out of bed slowly, if and when you are able. When you do, take a look at the woman in the mirror. She has a whole world to rebuild. If that sounds daunting, try to reallocate that weight to be hopeful for the new and beautiful things that I can see from where we are now. It’s going to take some time for you to get here, and that time will not always be easy, and that’s okay. Healing is like that. Third – and you may not be ready to believe this yet, but we’ve got to break the ice on this – none of this was your fault.

You thought you could fix him; save him. You thought that if you stayed, he would finally love you in the right way, instead of the way that kept you isolated, and up at night, and hiding things. You offered that man every square inch of warmth in your heart. The fact that it didn’t heal him says nothing of any insufficiency on your part, and everything of how cold and despondent he really must have been, despite your best efforts to see the situation in any other light.

Here’s what you need to know. Not to spoil the ending, but your life has absolutely expanded in his absence. But his departure doesn’t get the credit for that; your life would have expanded regardless. You know who you are, what your purpose on this planet is, what you deserve, where you’re headed, what you are worth. You have always known, and those things were never contingent on his staying or leaving, but it sure is easier to hear all of that without his voice in your ear constantly telling you that you are too much, to slow down on your dreams, or:

“That didn’t happen.

And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.

And if it was, it’s not a big deal.

And if it is, it wasn’t my fault.

And if it was, I didn’t mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.”

That voice is gone now. I know you don’t really know what to do without it, but hear this – there are better, kinder, more truthful voices coming to take its place. You don’t have to listen that one, The Wrong One, anymore – and I’m sorry that you ever felt like you had to in the first place. The good news is that you found the strength to walk away from it; that was a hard thing, even though most people talk about it like it should have been a really easy decision. They mean that with love; only some people really know the extent of the hold he had on you, the power of abuse, and even fewer people know the whole story, which is that he stripped you of your identity and made it sound like he was doing you a favor, made you feel like you had to stay, and even worse — that you had to keep how terrible things really were all to yourself — and you spent months too paralyzed to look for a way out.

But you did find it — the courage to leave, rather than exist in a world where you took whatever you could get and accepted that you were merely tolerable instead of exquisite and radiant and unstoppable, which are all things you only realized that you are after he left and you had to wake up in a quiet house and look in the mirror again.

His house was cold; his heart even moreso. There were no mirrors on the walls there, though. You couldn’t see the strong woman in the mirror. You’ll wonder later if this was intentional.

But it’s your first morning. It’s your first morning turning over a new leaf. And it’s really hard here. The girl you’re looking at in the mirror – I know that she’s terrified. Be there. Be terrified for a minute – or angry, scared, sad. Feel those things, and stay with them until you figure out what they have to teach you. It would be really easy to just call and let him back in for the 400th time, and start the whole cycle over, which he will invite you to do, peppered with the same old things he doesn’t mean like, “I’m sorry” and, “it was the bourbon” and, “but you’re the love of my life.”

You may have been, but he wasn’t yours, and that is all released to the wind now.
There is actual love out there.
You have so much of it within you; nurture that for a while. Breathe. Take your time.

None of this was your fault, but oh, you will grow from it.
The girl in the mirror will smile again, soon enough.
She will find joy, and pour herself into things that will flourish.
The anger and fear and confusion will pop their heads in from time to time.
They’re still around, but they will be the white noise behind laughter,
singing in the car, life stories in coffee shops,
or under the stars.

Life will be abundant again. Write that on the mirror, in case she forgets.
— in case she forgets that love is coming.

Love,

Yourself. Always.
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Written by Writer’s Corps member Amanda Phillips

The post A Letter to Myself After Walking Away From My Abusive Relationship appeared first on One Love Foundation.